somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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