so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
