that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
