dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
