There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
