Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize