How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
