I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
