kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
