I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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