Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
