Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
