More tranny stories later!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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