i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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