Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
