I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize