my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
