worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
