Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
