just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
