I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he laminated a picture of his dick.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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