im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
