the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
