why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
