Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The power of my boobs compel you
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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