Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
