You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
