oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
