Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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