Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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