Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
