You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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