omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I came so hard my ears popped.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
