i already hear my dad disowning me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Boobs are out for the taking
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize