i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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