you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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