I am puke
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
