Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
