i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
