Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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