dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
