I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just forgot I was standing up.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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