Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dicks are not precious.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
