there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
