He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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