Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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