I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
