One girl and one boy is just not enough.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
