Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
