Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
