i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
