thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I deserve this hangover.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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