I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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