just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Pants are for mortals
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
