I've blown a few things in my day
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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