you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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