Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
