it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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