You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize