I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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