PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
