Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Can I color on your dick again?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
