I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
