smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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